The Not So Smart Phone

Today may have been the longest day of my life. This morning at 6am, I am sitting at the table. I had just cut on my cell phone, time to check facebook (I am not addicted, it's just a convenient time). Tried to unlock, no response. Try again. Nope. Slide the keyboard out to unlock. Great now we are getting somewhere. Tap icon, nothing. Repeat process, same result. FFFUUU!!!! Get ready for work, sc...

ramble to find old cell phone so I can at least make calls and receive text. No luck, but I do find my OLD old cellphone. Charge for twenty minutes before I leave for work. *Nothing, I repeat *NOTHING is worse than going all day with a small Nokia bar phone that I have to use numbers to spell words. No apps, and I couldn't tell you how many times I touched the 2" screen hoping to open my messages. Then it goes dead at lunch, but , for the small charge pretty impressive, but FML. Now I have no phone and the rest of the day is unbearable. I get home, do a master reset using the hardware keys which is the equivalent of performing brain surgery with an eye patch riding a mechanical bull. The phone comes to life, but did it work? YESSS!!! ......For 5 minutes. Time to troubleshoot this bitch again with customer care. Oh wait.. my house phone isn't working for some reason. Shit. First world problems strike again.

*besides any disease, loss of family member or pet, runaway children, or anything else printed as a "may cause" on any type of medication.

Five seconds to freedom!!!

If you have seen the commercial with the guy having to pay attention for a full five seconds to his wife talking, then you understand what I just went through. I love my wife, as I am sure that gentleman does, but If the tv is on, and I have Mcdonalds chicken nuggets in front of me, and you are talking about our other daughters open house, then five seconds is an eternity to make eye contact and look like you are interested. Don't get me wrong, I know I SHOULD pay attention, its just hard too. I found myself literally counting in my head to get to five but the bad part is I don't actually remember getting there. I do remember however that my nuggets were delicious and Casino is a good movie. Ask me how many times the 6th grader has to change classes...don't know. She is a smart girl, she will figure this shit out. I don't remember having pep talks with my mom about anything related to school, other than I had better go and make good grades. You figure it out. I found myself laughing on the inside and probably smiling on the outside about the whole counting to five situation. I used the 20 piece to disguise the smile. I will probably get a lecture from my wife when she reads this. Problem is if I count to five during that, I am all out of chicken nuggets to cover up the smile. :D