I Love Movies...Most of Them

As a few of you know my family use to own a few video stores when I was growing up(the last one here in Harvest of which I worked at before and during high school) and I also worked part time at Blockbuster for awhile while teaching. These things have instilled in me an unquenchable thirst for knowledge regarding all things movies. I don't watch as many as I use to due to time constraints, but I still watch some off the wall movies, which brings me to my point. Road Trip was a good movie, Road Trip:Beer Pong is a shitty movie. I don't mean it's so cheesy it's enjoyable (Troll 2) I mean just plain shitty. Like Catwoman, ShowGirls, or Leonard Part 6. Save yourself the time and add this one to your suck list. It deserves it. What's the worst movie you have seen?

The Not So Smart Phone

Today may have been the longest day of my life. This morning at 6am, I am sitting at the table. I had just cut on my cell phone, time to check facebook (I am not addicted, it's just a convenient time). Tried to unlock, no response. Try again. Nope. Slide the keyboard out to unlock. Great now we are getting somewhere. Tap icon, nothing. Repeat process, same result. FFFUUU!!!! Get ready for work, sc...

ramble to find old cell phone so I can at least make calls and receive text. No luck, but I do find my OLD old cellphone. Charge for twenty minutes before I leave for work. *Nothing, I repeat *NOTHING is worse than going all day with a small Nokia bar phone that I have to use numbers to spell words. No apps, and I couldn't tell you how many times I touched the 2" screen hoping to open my messages. Then it goes dead at lunch, but , for the small charge pretty impressive, but FML. Now I have no phone and the rest of the day is unbearable. I get home, do a master reset using the hardware keys which is the equivalent of performing brain surgery with an eye patch riding a mechanical bull. The phone comes to life, but did it work? YESSS!!! ......For 5 minutes. Time to troubleshoot this bitch again with customer care. Oh wait.. my house phone isn't working for some reason. Shit. First world problems strike again.

*besides any disease, loss of family member or pet, runaway children, or anything else printed as a "may cause" on any type of medication.

Five seconds to freedom!!!

If you have seen the commercial with the guy having to pay attention for a full five seconds to his wife talking, then you understand what I just went through. I love my wife, as I am sure that gentleman does, but If the tv is on, and I have Mcdonalds chicken nuggets in front of me, and you are talking about our other daughters open house, then five seconds is an eternity to make eye contact and look like you are interested. Don't get me wrong, I know I SHOULD pay attention, its just hard too. I found myself literally counting in my head to get to five but the bad part is I don't actually remember getting there. I do remember however that my nuggets were delicious and Casino is a good movie. Ask me how many times the 6th grader has to change classes...don't know. She is a smart girl, she will figure this shit out. I don't remember having pep talks with my mom about anything related to school, other than I had better go and make good grades. You figure it out. I found myself laughing on the inside and probably smiling on the outside about the whole counting to five situation. I used the 20 piece to disguise the smile. I will probably get a lecture from my wife when she reads this. Problem is if I count to five during that, I am all out of chicken nuggets to cover up the smile. :D

Some Days....

Why are all the days before your day off the hardest? Its as if the universe knows to fuck with you. I had a customer come in as I was getting ready to leave. She wanted to talk to a manager about her tablet she just purchased. I talk with her and she explains that we gave her the wrong tablet. She tells me she came in looking for an ipad, but saw this one ($79.00 7" Coby) and decided on that one. Really? We carry a proverbial SHIT TON of tablets, there is definitely a better option. She brings it back today and tells me the salesperson was supposed to give her the larger 8" Coby that was tagged at $149.00 for the cheaper price because that's what he said. I politely explain that she can have the larger tablet but she is going to pay the difference. If the tablet is larger and has a camera on it why would it be the same price? She asks for my corporate number and my name so I give it her. She tells me, as we are looking at the tablets, that I will be getting a call to have her get the other tablet from corporate.  Good luck bitch, its the weekend. No they are not going to tell you you can have it. They will funnel that call right back to me as a matter of fact. Morales of the story: Don't demand something and be rude with the person that can help you, it makes you look suspect. Don't tell me you're looking for an ipad and since we didn't have it you buy an $80 fucking tablet. That makes you look stupid. Hell, the best advice I can give anyone is a cheap tablet is in no way similar to an ipad or high end Android. IT'S $80 DOLLARS.

All about how my life got flipped turned upside down..

Alrighty, here we go. So you're not left in the dark on future posts. Married with Children. It's not just a show. My wife will be the subject of a lot of these posts. She is the Yen to my Yang, peanut butter to my jelly, so on and so on. She is fantastically hot and not just because I'm married to her but because she is. If you saw us, you would be like "What is she doing with him?" I make her laugh if you were wondering. I have two daughters. An 11 year old who is a bigger fan of her mother than me, she is coming around though, even though she won't admit it. Also, I have a  10 year old who is a Daddy's girl, and will fight you if you say otherwise. The older one is tall for her age, she takes after her mother who is taller than me. The younger one is small for her age, I mean tiny. No she is not a little person. They are all affectionately referred to as Wifey, Big One, and Little One, in that order. Take note.  As for me, well, I like making things, drinking the occasional beer, watching movies, hanging out with my friends, whom I actually consider family, etc, more matchmaker type stuff.  I do use foul language, and will be using it on here. I am sorry if that offends you, but I am not asking you to change, don't ask me. Stick with me though, you might miss out. Very soon we will get to the good stuff, every good book has a little background on the sleeve. That's what this is, just a little info for you. Thanks for reading.


- Highly Average Mind

p.s.  The name came from some old cartoons I did in a Far Side style way. The joke was that you needed a Highly Average Mind to understand them.

Introductions

This shall be the start of something great. My life in a nutshell.  A thirty something with a lot on his mind and a need to get it out. I hope to entertain you with stories of happenings and the goings on around me, information on the things I enjoy and hopefully some enlightenment on how things truly are (in my mind anyway). As time progresses I will get better at this and make this blog look awesome, or at least make it awesome with content. We shall see. In order to understand them though you will need a .......Highly Average Mind. See what I did there?